Tuesday, August 09, 2005

RealGM Ranks the League

Is this a joke?

Let's laugh through the Patrick Austin's RealGM team rankings together, okay?

He has the Heat at #1, ahead of the Spurs. Whatever. The Rockets are at #3, which is laughable considering the Pacers are at #4. The Rockets would have a tough time convincing people they were the third best team in the West. Hell, they're only the third best team in Texas.

Pistons at #5, Nets at #6. I think the Nets are top-ten material if they get SAR, but #6 is probably high. The rampant love for the Cavaliers spreading like The Clap puts Cleveland at #7 on the list.

I urinated myself when I saw Austin put the Knicks (yes, those Knicks) at #8. In the whole league. Not a typo. Here's Austin's take:
"You have to give credit to Zeke for landing Larry Brown. That move alone will put NY back into serious playoff contention."

Serious playoff contention does not equal the eighth best team in the land. That ranking means that the Knicks will be one of the eight best teams in the league. Sixteen teams get into the playoffs. Err, moving on...

Dallas is way low at #9. The Mavericks might be the second best in the West. The Lakers show up at #10, where Austin proclaims that Kwame "could bust out and become a new Jermaine O’Neal." Don't hold your breath (or maybe do).

Philly's spot at #11 made me vomit in my mouth (note to wannabe NBA writers: when all a really bad team from a really bad division does is re-sign its own overrated players and prays that one the most overpaid players in all of sports gets healthy, that's not a good offseason).

The Nuggets show up at #12, probably five spots too low. It's a tough team, a physical team and it's a shooter away from the Western Conference Finals, in my estimation. The Bulls land at #13, which is about right, if a bit high. The Wizards follow at #14.

The Suns (yes, they of the 2004-05 WCF) land at #15. Inexplicable. Austin said, "Dealing away Quentin Richardson and the rights to Nate Robinson for Kurt Thomas could backfire big time." Yeah, who needs one of the better defensive bigs in the L when you could have a 5-foot-6 back-up rookie point guard and a shooter with a bad back?

Finally, we arrive at the Kings at #16. Austin says, "This team is slowly but surely falling further back in the West." And I'm sure with CWebb, Divac, Christie and Bobby Jackson still on the roster, we'd be poised for a ring? Whatever.

What follows is a mess with little rhyme or reason -- Seattle, Boston, Golden State (Austin writes that the team will surprise many - what? by missing the playoffs? no surprise here!), Portland, Utah, Milwaukee, Memphis, Minnesota, Charlotte, the Clips, Toronto, Orlando, New Orleans and Atlanta. Those last four look about right, though Toronto should be the worst team and N.O. shouldn't be much better.

Ah, August. Assinine opinion is here!


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Tom Ziller

The Sacramento Kings are a tough act to follow, literally.

SKB does the dirty work so you can forget about the blood, sweat and tears.

Oh, you'll still need the tears in April, though.

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